Dear Love Doctor,
I recently went through a serious relationship crisis. Knowing how well you know the ins and outs of love, I turned to LifeStyles pages hoping I could find an answer in your column but you were nowhere to be seen! What happened?
Wherefore Art Thou, O Love Doctor?
I do apologize for the absence. But I would like to say that it was not at all my own decision rather, LifeStyle's illustrious editorial board decided that my space be temporarily taken over by Glasha Vetrova, our flirtatious and ever-man-hunting high-society vixen. And who am I to argue with giving such a hot little number as Glasha more coverage? Many's the time the old LD has taken a cold shower after checking her out in a two-piece Anyway, I at first felt uneasy about leaving my readers without a dose of the Love Doctor's patented eros injections to spice up their winin', dinin' and romancin', but then decided to take a break which I spent in classic style in Thailand picking up a few new tricks of the love trade. But don't worry I'm back, and my gift of love is just going to keep on giving.
And, oh, I do hope things worked out for you, and that your mattress springs and headboard are once again getting a good workout.
Dear Love Doctor,
Ive got a serious problem. Im a young woman whos been seeing a nice guy for about a year now. Up until now, hes been great but I recently introduced him to a friend of mine on a visit from England. Hes been making eyes at her from the start, and the other day, while he was drunk, he even proposed a threesome! Im worried because I know my friend Emily is into that kind of thing, and we even tried it once in university. I like this guy a lot, and I dont want to share him even for one night. Please tell me, what should I do?
Not After Three-Way Boinking
Dear prospective boinkee, my first reaction after I read your letter was what are you waiting for?!? Go out there and get it on! Rrowr! Oh, the heaving bosoms, the sighs, the soft feel of flesh on flesh (Sorry, it's been a while two days and counting!)
Then, I reconsidered. I am the Love Doctor, after all, not the Screw Up a Persons Life Doctor. Heres what I really think: Look, you want a serious, one-on-one relationship with this guy, right? He clearly doesnt want one with you (unless it was just the alcohol talking double-check that one, OK?). Why are you with him? You should dump the guy cold. While Im at it, does this little Emily filly know about your beaus amorous aspirations? If she does, then I hope she knows youd be against it, but if she doesnt and is still up for a little three-way fun, my question to you is, what are you doing hanging around this person? Sheesh, the letters I get...