To Play or Not To Play

Issue Number: 
543
Author: 
Valeria Paykova
Published: 
2003-09-19


I nearly freaked out as I read my September horoscope, published in a popular women’s magazine. It started with the following phrase: "You want him, but he doesn’t want you that much yet."
"I can’t believe it! How come this Elle astrologist knows everything that’s going on in my life?" I thought, pushing myself to go on reading. The next two lines sounded more encouraging: "By the end of the month he will finally realize he can’t lose a treasure like you and he’ll fall into your open arms…"
Actually, I don’t believe in stars, zodiac signs, horoscopes and planets ruling our lives day and night. No man is omniscient, and I’m a fully intuition-oriented person. So I prefer to trust my hunches instead of relying on my rational side. Only this was just the case when a glamorous horoscope sounded very true. Even too true to be true (excuse my tautology).
But let me explain the situation first. I met a guy, and guess who he turned out to be? A player.

Not a basketball player, I mean, which would be just fine. He plays with girls just the way bartenders play with spirits.
Men with a weak spot for women are called "womanizers." I wonder, how we would call women who like many men? Some are quick to say "sluts," but let’s give that double standard a rest and suppose we say "manizers" instead, because in some situations, the game can go both ways, but more often than not, it doesn’t. It just so happens that I’m actually a player too, but of a different kind. I play with men the way I play the piano: Very seldom. Just because I can’t help but take the "game" too close to heart.
Sorry guys, but I still can’t figure out what pushes male players from one girl to another. Is it an inferiority complex? Even when the guy in question looks self-assertive, strong and successful, is it just a facade? Cool and handsome in outward appearance, he is probably not so sure about his inner "spiritual wealth." Indeed, there’s a big question to worry about: Whether a woman chosen for a short fling would find him interesting enough to stay with for a period longer than one night. (It is a well-known fact that it is the women who choose the men, and not the other way around.)

Who knows… Anyway, no one wants to be dumped, that’s for sure, which is why, for him, short relationships are the only means of escape from himself and (maybe) from the bitchy headache too. (Besides, ending a relationship after just a couple of dates is as safe as it is exciting: It opens the doors into the hearts – and bodies – of other women, even if just for a short while. Right?) What’s the use of guessing whether she still wants him, likes him or loves him, if he can simply have sex with her, then pick up another girl and forget about the previous one? Sounds good, no?
I’ve got a friend, Natasha, who is fantastically attractive and smart. Seriously, I thought, no woman could be my role model, but she is. So Natasha quoted me a phrase from a book she had just finished reading. It said: "Women offer space, and men occupy it." Very true, I think. My biggest slip was that I offered my emotional and physical space to a person who suffers from claustrophobia. But I’m happy I did so: I have a keen sense of intuition, and it says that his disease is curable...

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